This just in: the results for the survey regarding the Term End Experience. Upon implementing five exams, opposed to the traditional three, students shared their thoughts about the change. Disregarding the numerous comments about the dining hall only serving 3 feeds for the five exam schedule, students’ views on the new experience are listed below. 

85% of students claimed that the best way to improve this system is to have a week of sleep instead of testing periods. They argued that this sleep will allow them to actually enjoy their break, rather than spend it catching up on sleep deprivation from the term end experience. Rumor has it that the majority of faculty concurs. “Dr. Hills, can we please have a scheduled nap time?” You can dream.

25% of students wrote stories about them exiting their term end experience in tears. They went in thinking they know the material, only to be proven very painfully wrong. These students turned in their exams, wet with fresh tears, as the teacher gave them a worried look… but no curve. Some claimed they cried of laughter as the test asked about concepts of which they knew nothing about. The only thing more funny than their experience was the grade they received. 

89% of faculty complained about the necessity of sitting through multiple exam periods, when they previously only had to attend one. They wrote of back aches and repeating the same answers over and over again. 47% percent of faculty even admitted that they fell asleep while proctoring their exams. Looks like they too could benefit from a week of scheduled naps. 

With these statistics in mind, we urge the Academic Dean’s Office to strongly consider the alternatives to this new term end experience. However, if we must take tests, at least promise us one thing: justice in the form of five worthy and delicious exam feeds.