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Types of Freshman Roommates
Billy Tang ’25 Staff Writer
November 18, 2021
Credit: Julia Hioe

Hi Deerfield! In this article we’ll be overviewing the numerous saints and sinners of the concrete jungle commonly found in the Deerfield dorms. Living with a roommate is a very unique experience that describes a tale of respect, awkward wake-up calls and secrets that will never see the light of day. So without further ado, here are the 5 types of roommates you might get at Deerfield academy.

Night Owl:

While many people emphasize the importance of REM sleep, this person took an oath of vigilance, to never rest until they’ve finished their assignment or TV show as they prepare to doze off in class the next day. They seem to have no sense of volume as they will play music to the maximum setting and act as if their veins are full of 5-hour Energy mixed with Adderall. If you get this roommate you might want to invest in a good set of earplugs and eyemasks if you ever want to get your rest at night.

The Person Magnet: 

This roommate is so popular your room will be converted into the dorm’s unofficial meeting place as people swarm to your room in order to hang out, chat and flirt with your incredibly popular and charismatic roommate. You will never have less than 4 people in your most likely tiny and cramped room. Make it clear to this roommate that you would like your peace and quiet or forever hold your silence as dozens of fans swarm into your room like a horde of incredibly loud ants. Other than that, you do get the perks of being able to make more friends by piggybacking off your roommate’s popularity. 

The London Sewage: 

When you met this person at orientation, they may have seemed like the nicest, gentlest and kindest soul you could ever meet, until you realize living with him is like the teenage boy’s version of living in chernobyl as a haze of sweat, questionable cologne, and rancid odor mixed into an incredibly potent form of radiation swirls in the room. You will fear the very idea of walking into your room as you see used underwear scattered across the floor and weeks-old piles of unwashed socks serving as the person’s sleeping gloves. If you ever get this roommate, pray. 

The Ghost: 

This person has nothing indicating that they live in your room. They wake up earlier than you and disappear for the whole day until they show up for study hall and to sleep. Even then, you can never form a proper conversation with them as they literally seem to vanish for a few days and come back as if nothing ever happened. If you like having the room to yourself, the Ghost might be the ideal roommate for you.

The Saint: 

You wonder if this person is like the second coming of Jesus — they bring food, fun and friendship into the dorm like some divine reward for being good in your past life. This roommate always keeps the room stocked with food which is available for you to take to your heart’s desire. They become your best buddy; they will always have your back and keep the room clean and lively at all times. This is the ideal roommate for anyone, and if you are lucky enough to get this roommate,make sure to give the nearest deity a very generous sacrifice.