7:30 a.m. Your mother wakes you up to ask if you have been accepted to your ED yet, knowing full well that decisions don’t come out until mid-December. Roll over and go back to sleep.
9:00 a.m. You can hear your grandmother downstairs asking why you aren’t awake and helping to prepare the turkey.
11:30 a.m. Your 20-year-old cousin arrives, complaining about the long drive from Harvard. Your parents have asked that you discuss Harvard with him and if he has any suggestions on how to get accepted. You are still asleep.
12:26 p.m. You wake up. You hear your annoying younger cousins screaming downstairs. You go back to sleep.
12:29 p.m. Your younger cousins fling open your door and start jumping on your bed. The printed drafts of your application essays with your parents’ edits fall onto the floor.
12:30 p.m. You decide you can no longer pretend to be asleep. You hit one of your cousins with an SAT prep book and get into the shower. As you exit the bathroom, you hear your parents talking about your supplements. You stay in the shower for another thirty minutes.
1:00 p.m. Your mother says that if you aren’t going to spend time working on your college applications, you need to help cook dinner. While making the cranberry sauce, you realize you have fallen into her trap: you cannot escape the stove while she barrages you with questions about your applications.
1:30 p.m. You decide to be productive because it’s the only way to avoid talking to your family. You spend the next hour looking up “how to write a good ivy league supplement.” You end up writing only three words.
2:30 p.m. You come downstairs and see your dad and your uncle watching the television. You have missed the Bears – Lions game. You are sad. Your dad asks if you have been productive. You nod your head yes. You are lying.
3:00 p.m. Your mother calls you for dinner. Why are you eating so early? This is a legitimate question. Why do people eat dinner this early on Thanksgiving?
3:15 p.m. Your oblivious 30-year-old uncle asks, “Which college are you going to?”
3:16 p.m. Your younger brother exclaims that you are going to Harvard. You are not.
4:00 p.m. You have spent the last forty-five minutes keeping your mouth full at all times to make sure nobody has the time to ask you any questions.
4:30 p.m. Your father asks you how your last interview went. You tell him the Cowboys game is about to start. Luckily he loves the Cowboys and completely forgets about college to go watch the game. The next three hours are spent eating turkey in front of the television.
8:00 p.m. Your mother finally brings out the dessert. It’s pecan pie. Pecan pie is amazing. It makes everyone forget you’re applying to college.
9:00 p.m. Somehow, you are still eating dinner. Seriously, why does this meal have to last so long? You cannot stand to talk about college with your relatives anymore. You are crying.
9:30 p.m. You want to get in line for Black Friday shopping. Your father tells you that you can spend his money once you get into college.